Personal Development

Overcoming failure


Helpful truths of life

  • Adult humans can deal with anything in life
  • Asking what's good about this? can switch the mind to more positive, constructive thinking
  • Beliefs are not always real, changing beliefs, can change lives
  • Everything will pass, getting frustrated with reality isn’t helpful
  • You can always look to find positives in any situation
  • You can only do your best in life
  • Just because you want something to happen doesn’t mean it will happen
  • Learning to accept reality and then working with it, can be very constructive
  • Not everyone will understand you. Opinions are not facts
  • Reflection is a great promoter of personal growth

Thinking about others

It’s not what you say it’s what you don’t say.

If we don’t express feelings such as happiness, achievement and appreciation they can go unrecognised.

This can lead to habits that are unhelpful such as:

  • Failing to see your / their talent, value and potential
  • Expressing feelings in ways that will not be helpful
  • Lost opportunities

Mental toughness is like a muscle

Mental toughness is like a muscle, one that you can grow with effort. Your mind is powerful, it can work for or against you in times of stress. Developing your mental toughness will enable you to find a more rewarding life, even when you are struggling. Stretching yourself slowly and continuously will strengthen your mind, overcome unhelpful beliefs and self-imposed limitations.

The survival instinct resists hard or sustained effort, unless it sees a reward. It wants to keep you well inside your comfort, pain-free zone. The ego by nature does not like criticism, failure or rejection. It can use the survival instinct for protection or defence, rather than thinking.

Whether you can or you can’t will always be decided by your mind.

Learn to quiet and focus your mind and you will find strength and capabilities beyond what you or others once thought was possible.

Sometimes bad things happen or we find ourselves being asked to do what we don’t want to do.

Reacting negatively to these situations is a sign that your brain is doing what it should. You are not a machine.

However, a more positive mind-set will always be helpful and the brain needs help when what it perceives is be a bad situation or undesirable thing to do.

Simply press the stop button and ask what’s good about this?

If this doesn’t work the first time keep asking until it does and you will find that your brain will react in empowering ways and that you will be more successful.

What you feed into your mind and the minds of others has an effect on: energy, creativity, confidence, flexibility, decision making, motivation...What you feed into your mind (or what your mind feeds on) affects the chemical resources, the fuel that your brain has available.

We are a species

We are a species and we have mastered our abilities to do what follows:

  • Achieve unintended consequences.
  • Work in ways that divide rather than align us.
  • Interpret information in ways that confirm what we were already thinking.

Shared and common challenges

Shared and common challenges for our species and for all relationships include:

  • Uncertainty, stress and frustration. The world is driven by emotion. Decisions based upon insufficient and the wrong information.
  • Communicating efficiently rather than effectively.
  • Past memories guiding current thinking.
  • We can’t rather than how can we.

Examples of what can weaken relationships

  • Failing to listen.
  • Telling rather than asking.
  • They - rather than - we - thinking.
  • Behaving in ways (or communication) that creates uncertainty.
  • Feedback or criticism that is not seen as valuable, relevant or helpful.
  • Weaponising feedback.

A wise person will consider criticism, sometimes on reflection.

Examples of what can strengthen relationships

Examples of what the success of your relationships depend upon:

  • Good-will credits.
  • Self and situational-awareness.
  • People, communication, and decision making skills.
  • Management of actions, beliefs and behaviours that will be challenging.
  • The ability to spend good will credits when necessary.
  • Effort.

Your success

Your success depends on your mind, emotion and energy.

Unless you do the right things the right things won’t happen to you. If you set up and follow the right process, success is an assured thing.

What do you want?

When you say that’s not possible, you are saying I don’t want this.

Don’t let your memory stop you.

Attitude is more important than facts.

" Attitude is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, money, circumstances, than failures and success, than what other people think, say, or do. It is more important than appearance, ability, or skill. It will make or break a business, a home, a friendship, an organisation. The remarkable thing is I have a choice every day of what my attitude will be. I cannot change my past. I cannot change the actions of others. I cannot change the inevitable. The only thing I can change is attitude. Life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it " Charles Swindoll

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